One Great Moment in Hooker History

…and, it happened in Florida.

A undercover vice cop was doing his part to find and arrest hookers last Friday night when he happened upon a 47 year old suspect.  According to reports he ““asked if she wanted a ride and engaged in a conversation about sex,” after she got in the car.

The cop, again as mentioned in the p0lice report, told the woman he was looking “to fuck” and asked if she could help him with that request.  The woman reportedly replied that they could, “could go have sexual intercourse if I bought her two double cheese burgers off the dollar menu at McDonald’s.”  So the officer did just that, buying two cheeseburgers for $2.75.  The cop then offered to provide a tip on top of the burger purchase, gave the woman $60 and she instructed him to meet her in a nearby park to “complete the deal”.

Christine Baker was arrested before that could happen, and it is not mentioned if she was able to eat her food first.

via The Smoking Gun

I Don’t Even Know How to Title This One

Ian Summers, 30, decided that he wanted to bring a prostitute into a Orange County, FL home, but knew that he first had to address the issue of his overly aggressive pit bull.

The pit, perfectly named “Fiesty”, had bitten several people recently, although “attacked” is probably a more accurate description.  One included a 2 year old nephew that lost a hunk of flesh from under his arm after meeting Fiesty.

Summers himself admits he is terrified of the animal, but when he brought the prostitute, Robin Johnson (yes, that is her mugshot to a previous arrest below) to a home on Feb 10th, Summers thought it was a good idea to get the two properly acquainted first so that Fiesty wouldn’t be aggressive, but he claims that upon opening the door to the room the dog saw Johnson and attacked her.

Summers then inexplicably simply closed the door to the room and left the house, leaving Johnson to be mauled by the dog.  She ended up having her left leg amputated below the knee and the left arm surgically removed below the elbow.  “When he attacked I did not want to be anywhere near that dog, he scares the death out of me,” Summers reportedly told deputies, “so I left and closed the door.”

It turns out that the home that Summers took Johnson reportedly for sex and some crack smoking wasn’t even his house.  He was a previous tenet that had moved out after a November drug raid.

While Johnson is in a coma, minus two limbs, Summers is in jail facing charges of second-degree felony charge of burglary of an occupied dwelling, as well as culpable negligence.

via Sun Sentinel, Daily Mail

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Shouldn’t $6 Sex Acts Be Legal?

This fine, foxy lady, Misty Marie Kullman, needs a lesson in business.

Arrested in Shelby,NC for prostitution, Kullman was found to be performing the “blue light special” of sex acts.

After receiving a call about a suspicious car in a neighborhood, police found a man and woman in the car.  The man claimed he’d picked her up and they were riding around talking, but later admitted he had paid Kullman for a sex act.

For only $6.

What?  Is that a loss-leader or something?

In fact the man specified that he’d paid her with three $1 bills, some change and the ever insulting $2 bill.  A search of Kullman found those exact dominations.

While a statement was taken from the guy, he wasn’t charged and Kullman faces prostitution charges.

via Shelby


side note, doesn’t Kullman kinda look like Joakim Noah?

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9-1-1 Is Not a Hooker Complaint Service

Jerry Streng, 63, needs a good talking to, or a punch to his face meat.

First, hiring a pair of hookers to join you in a pot-smoking, Jerry-sandwich sex party is just not good decision making.  Second, calling the cops to file a report that the same hookers didn’t provide the service you paid for just shows a lack of all judgment.

Streng hired Jacqueline Eubanks, 50, and Tanya Good, 34, to join him at his Pennsylvanian home for $400.  For that amount of money the women were, according to Streng, join him in “smoking smoke”, and engage in sexual intercouse, but Jerry wanted a specific place in that action.

As explained in the complaint the “agreement was that he was supposed to be in the middle of both women while the three of them engaged in sexual activity with each other.”  But after smoking together, the women got into bed and didn’t invite Streng.  This frustrated him and he took off his clothes and got into bed with them anyway.  Unfortunately for Jerry he’d been relegated to an “end” position and not the Jerry-in-the-middle he thought he’d paid for.  The girls began some sexual activity with each other and not Jerry, and he was left only to fondle the breast of the woman he was laying next to.

The women then got up and left, without “fully servicing him” as described in the complaint.

All three were arrested and charged with differing prostitution charges.

via The Smoking Gun

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