Weirdest. Weapon. Ever.

CTA-Blue-Line-Feces-Attack-A 21 year old Chicago area woman was the victim of an attack on a train by a man who hit her in the face and head with, as she describes, “…a sock full of his poop”.

The woman got on a train headed to Chicago when the assailant boarded the same car.  “The guy got on with me at (the) Oak Park (station),” the victim said, requesting anonymity. “I wasn’t really paying attention.” She says that she found her seat, got out her cell phone and began to send a text.  “Next stop (at Austin), he throws something in my face” she told the Pioneer Press.

“He had a sock full of his poop on me,” said the 21-year-old college student.“It was everywhere; on my face, my hair, my clothes.”

There was another rider on the train that tried to follow the attacker after the woman’s screams got him to run off, but he got off the train and ran away.  Police searched for a young male, about 20 with facial hair and have several frames of video of who they believe is the attacker.

The woman claimed called the attack the “biggest degradation I’ve ever experience.  I wish he had just hit me”.  Unfortunately for her the worst part was that nobody on the scene had anything for her to wipe off her face and that paramedics didn’t really have anything to really clean her up.  They only had some water and towels.


Dog Eats Christmas Lights

xraylightsBritish puppy-dog Charlie is famous in his family for eating things he shouldn’t.   “Back in March he ate one of my scarves and needed an operation to remove it, but I thought it was just a one-off incident as he hadn’t shown any signs that he was going to be a repeat offender. I’ve had dogs all my life and have never known a dog act like this before” said his owner Sharon Fay.

But last week Fey noticed something odd.  In Charlie’s poop was little bits of wire sticking out.  Worried she took him to the vet and an X-ray reviled that Charlie had ingested a foot long strand of Christmas lights.

And a shoelace.

A surgery saved Charlie’s life as the vet was certain that any length of time in his system would have caused him severe internal injuries.

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When Your Dad Is the Grinch…Really.

Myron Rose may go down in history as 2012’s worst dad of the year after he was arrested for breaking into his ex’s home where he stole his own kid’s Christmas presents.

Amanda Miller came home late Friday afternoon and saw her ex-boyfriend running away from her mobile home with a giant bag over his shoulder.  When she got inside she realized there was electronics, jewelry and many of her kid’s Christmas presents missing.  Rose is the father of two of her three kids.

Rose apparently broke into the home from the underside and breaking a hole in the floor.  Miller called police and he was arrested and charged with  burglary, criminal trespassing, theft by unlawful taking and criminal mischief charges. He remains in jail on $50,000 bond.

It Happened In Florida

Jontae Dellano, 14, got in a fight at school and ended up getting whipped.  So he got his dad to help him find a little revenge by going to a bus stop to confront his nemesis, with a tube sock with padlocks in it.

Jamal Shields, 30, drove Jontae to a bus stop to Palm River, Florida bus stop where he faced his 13 year old, now victim, and began to hit him with the “sock-n-lock”.  Others at the scene called 911 and when the victim ran across the street to get away, Shields instructed his son to follow and go after him.  When the fight was over the father and son returned home and the victim had to go to the hospital requiring staples to close a gash in his head.

The pair were arrested at their home and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. Dad also was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a child.

Jontae has quite the mentor in Shields.  His father has been arrested over 27 times and been in prison three times.

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*updated* This Is the Summer Movie of 2013

*updated*  at the bottom, watch the trailer, but with delToro’s commentary – excellent insight

Pacific Rim has been talked about for the last several months, but only in ways that amount to guessing and speculation.  Director, Guillermo del Toro’s Summer 2013 will be a massive blockbuster on the grandest of scales.

We know the plot line is that giant aliens invade earth, but they are more like the massive monsters from old Japanese monster flicks, and the human race creates an army of Jaegers (skyscraper sized, human controlled robots or mechs) to defeat them.  But in this trailer we finally get to see just what the “monsters” and the Jaegers will look like.  While I certainly haven’t been wanting another “giant creature from outer space threatens Earth smash-smash-smash movie”, for whatever reason, this is really the movie I’m most anticipating for 2013… Maybe its the every so slight “guy in a rubber suit” feel the monsters have…

Who’s to know what to expect from GdT, but if he’s greatness with the very unappreciated Hellboy movies is any indicator, this should be a great ride.  Please note the very cool inclusion of what sounds like GLaDOS, the voice from the awesome “Portal” games.

“…ready to activate the Jaeger in 3…2…1”

Man of Steel Might Actually Be Super

Zack Synder very well may have been the perfect choice to direct the newest version/reboot of the Superman story.  Tasked several years ago with turning the greatest comic book/superhero graphic novel of all time into a movie, Snyder’s “Watchmen” was a valiant attempt to do something with a terribly complex, dark tale.

When we saw the first trailer for the upcoming “Man of Steel”, it looked far more like an episode of “Deadliest Catch” than anything related to Superman, but the new trailer certainly corrects that course with a clear aim that points to some sort of origin story.  I have a hard time believing that Snyder would simply just do a full origin story, and from the trailer you can see that maybe the scenes of Clark’s childhood (including his rescue of a drowning school bus full of classmates) are more likely part of a series of flashbacks.  ‘Cause if you get one overriding feeling from this trailer is that this will be a moody, brooding story about a guy, albeit a super-guy, trying to figure out who he is.

But I have to admit that watching this peeked my interest.

When You Burgle The Home of a Kickboxer

19 year old Johnathan Wise (right) was arrested for burglary late last month, but it isn’t the pending criminal charges he probably most regrets.  That would be the beating he took at the hands of his “victim”.

Norm Houston (left) was home when he heard a noise coming from his garage and upon going outside to investigate he found Wise standing there.  Wise started the meeting by apologizing for any damage, but then attacked Houston. “The burglar started out by apologizing to him for getting into the garage and said he had fixed the damage only to follow that up by punching him in the face,”OKC Police Master Sgt. Gary Knight said.

Unfortunately for Wise, his first punch would be his last.  Houston is a personal trainer that specializes in boxing and kickboxing.  After smashing Wise’s face, he held him down until police arrived.  Before going to jail he required medical treatment at the hospital.

Don’t Fling Poo At the Police Station

Greg Greaves was arrested over the weekend after he allegedly ambushed another man in a bar bathroom during an annual Chicago pub crawl.

The unidentified man claims that he was stopping by one of the many bars participating in the Twelve Bars of Christmas pub crawl to use the bathroom.  When he walked in Greaves jumped from a stall with a broken beer bottle and began to stab the victim in the neck.  A bartender then entered the bathroom and found the scene with the victim with cuts on his neck, chin and hands. He was taken to a hospital and was in stable condition.

Greaves on the other hand was arrested and taken to the police station where he began to put up a drunken fit.  While in the processing room he began to yell at police and oddly refused to wear pants.  He then, according to police, began to defecate into his hands and then threw the fecal matter on the floor.

He was charged with one felony count of aggravated battery causing great bodily harm, was released on bond and is due back in court on Dec 17th.

Naked, High on Meth and Greasy

41 year old Scott McFarland lead Austin police on a chase through north parts of the city in his jeep, while naked.

Police responded to calls of a man sitting in a Jeep, naked, outside a hotel and when they arrived he sped off starting a high speed chase.  Reaching speeds of 80mph it was only when police used stop sticks did his vehicle come to a stop by rolling down a ditch.  Police reported that apprehending McFarland was tough because he was “slippery from the grease he was covered in”.

Turns out that McFarland wasn’t only naked, and speeding… He was also high on meth.  He’s in jail on charges of driving while intoxicated, evading arrest and possession.


The Ol’ Pot Brownie Trick

Thomas Ricardo Cunningham, 21, and Mary Elizabeth Essa, 19, two students at Colorado University though baking pot into a batch of brownies for their history class are finding out that that old prank isn’t so funny after all.

Eight of the 12 students that were in the class fell ill in some form after eating the brownies, including three who needed to be hospitalized.  The class professor was one of those that was taken to a hospital, one female student had to go after telling her parents she felt like she was “going to pass out” and another girl was in the hospital after having panic attacks.

The two students face charges include second- degree assault and inducing consumption of controlled substances by fraudulent means after bringing the brownies for “bring food to class day”.  And no, just because pot was recently legalized in Colorado, cooking it into food and feeding to unsuspecting victims is still illegal.