A Tremendously Impressive Crime Spree

Tony Blackburn is a criminal overachiever.  A top-notch felon.

Blackburn took a Greyhound bus to Nashville and during a nine hour layover decided to entertain himself with a crime spree of epic proportions.

He started off by breaking into a local business and stole a Taser, revolver and shotgun, but before leaving shot up the establishment, stole a souvenir t-shirt and set the place on fire.

Then he mugged and assaulted four people he ran into leaving a nearby bar.  He pointed the shotgun at the group, Tased one, pistol whipped another and ran off with all four’s money and belongings.

Minutes later during his getaway he carjacked a cab (at gunpoint), stopped at a Walmart where he used his recently acquired credit cards to buy $199 worth of stuff.

From there he went to the Indigo hotel at approximently 6am, broke into a law office, where he again ransacked the business – including pooping on a desk and then smearing his own feces on the law degrees on the wall (peet: who hasn’t wanted to do that at least once?).

Then going from room to room at the motel knocked on doors acting as a housekeeper, eventually robbing a couple at gunpoint of $600.

Back into the cab he’d stolen the night before, but this time with a shaved head, he got into an accident in a parking garage and ran off.  He later hailed another cab and held the driver up at knifepoint. Police finally found Blackburn hiding on top of Opryland inside a water cooling vat.  He’d submerged himself up to his nose. After nine hours Blackburn ended up being charged with eleven felonies, the local TV station put together a graphic to visually explain just how impressive his time in Nashville was.