Best. Nerd. Bachelor. Party. Ever.

This ad posted in the Washington DC area for a bachelor party that sounds like it’s just a powder keg of “out of control” just waiting to explode.

The ad is for a woman who can act as the Dungeon Master (DM) for a game of Dungeon & Dragons (D&D) – it’s preferred he has a specific bra size, willing to appear topless and have a working knowledge of the game.  For those not familiar (peet: and if you’re not, we may not be able to be friends) D&D is a long time fantasy game played in a group with books, dice, cards, painted figures, a heavy dose of nerd and one person is the DM.  The DM is the person that controls the game and is kinda like a referee.

For this bachelor party the following odd request was made:

Looking for a woman with Dungeon Master experience in Dungeons and Dragons (specifically 3.0 or 3.5 editions) to run a game. The event is for a Bachelor Party and the “future husband to be” would prefer if the DM could be topless. With that said, I ensure you that nothing else is expect of you other than an exciting adventure.

There are requirements too!

  • Dungeon Master experience in Dungeons and Dragons (preferably in 3rd or 3.5 Editions)
  • Must be able to provide a picture including the face and body (No nudes please.)
  • It is preferable that cup size be at least C or greater.
  • If books are needed it must be stated ahead of time however it would be preferable if the DM had her own.

And this promise:

There will be 5 “guys” that will be participation including myself. We are at all above the age of 24. Each of us are gentlemen and will treat the Dungeon Master with the utmost of respect.

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Artificially Big Butts Are a Crime

Kimberly Smedley is a criminal.

She has been arrested of the crime of making giant, fat asses.

Working out of hotel rooms in the Washington DC area, she was hired by women to inject silicone into their butts to make them larger and give them a particular shape.  For $4000 a woman would undergo nine injections into each cheek.

An exotic dancer contacted police after she also asked for injections to her lips (the ones on her face, you perv) and had to go to the hospital with breathing problems and was found to have silicone in her lungs.

Reports show that the silicone was stored in a, “water jug with a spigot”, where it was then poured “into a cup” and then drawn from the cup into a syringe and then injected into the awaiting, lacking, flat, not-enough-cushin-for-the-pushin’ buttocks area.  It is also thought that Smedley was buying the silicone from local hardware stores like Lowes or Home Depot – because that’s where you get medical grade butt fat ya know.

Smedley is free on bail, and the number of customers isn’t known.  What is known is that she has stayed at various area hotels over a hundred times in the last year.

Your just going to have to eat mac& cheese by the gallon to get that classic J-Lo/Kardashian ass ladies.  Really, why not? Look how great it looks on Ms. Smedley?

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