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Do Not Pee On The Train Track

Zachary McKee of Ossian, Indiana died over the weekend after a brutal electrocution from the 3rd rail of the Purple Line ‘L’ tracks in Evanston.

Late Sunday night McKee, a veteran who severed four years in the Marines, decided to climb down onto the tracks to relieve himself.  While it was first reported his electrocution was the result of him urinating onto the electrified 3rd rail, an investigation revealed that McKee actually fell onto the track suffering his fatal injuries.

His friends rushed to assist him and contact train officials but there wasn’t much that could be done for him.  McKee was in town attending a Cubs game and had tweeted not long before his death “There’s no stopping us now”.

The realities of the dangers of urinating onto the third rail have been long debated.  Mythbusters did an episode about this and found that it would unlikely cause death, but there have been reports over the years of people dying after doing exactly that.

 

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Its Called, “Marking Your Territory”

Raymond Floyd has been arrested for a most peculiar crime.

Peeing on the chairs of co-workers.  Well, just those sat in by the attractive women in the office.

The Farm Bureau office began to receive complaints from workers that their chairs had stains on them.  When it couldn’t be determined what was the cause a camera security system was installed and Floyd was caught in the act.  Turns out that Floyd would search through the employee database, find the attractive women in the office and come into the office during off-hours.  He’d find the selected women’s desks and urinate on their chairs.

Floyd turned himself in over the weekend and is facing a charge of second-degree criminal mischief.  He was immediately fired, and could face more trouble as the cost of his damage has reached $4500 in unusable office chairs.

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Satan Would Be Oh So Proud

Sergio Velderrain just purchased a first class ticket to the warm confines of hell.

The Phoenix man is accused of peeing on his 4 month old son…

…and laughing about it…

His wife, Jennifer, called police after waking to the sounds of what she thought was “running water” only to find her husband, drunk, urinating in the corner on their son sitting in the stroller.  She claims the boy was “choking on the pee” and that Sergio was, “laughing hysterically about it” and told her that, “now he has something to remember his dad by”.

Sergio was arrested later at a nearby apartment where he claimed he was drunk after drinking two Four Loko beverages and awoke to his wife shaking him.  He thought he had been urinating in the toilet, but Jennifer claims that she is convinced that he committed the act as revenge after an earlier argument.

Sergio was charged with felony child-abuse.

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Best. Defense Lawyer. Ever.

Charles Hersel was arrested in 2009 at a Thousand Oaks mall after high school students claimed Hersel paid them to spit in his face, slap him and yell profanities at him.

There were also claims he offered the teens even more money to urinate and poop on him.  He was charged with four counts of “annoying and molesting a child”.  Hersel reportedly paid dozen of teens to do those things to him, although there is no confirmation has to how many times it actually occurred or to what extent.

Last week a jury found Hersel not guilty despite the fact Hersel admitted to the requests.  The judge’s reason was based around Hersel’s defense that his requests were not sexual in nature.  Asking for this type of abuse his lawyer claimed was not for sexual gratification.  Somehow the jury believe him.

Hersel was facing a year in jail and would have had to register as a sex offender.

 

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