I Can’t Make This Shit Up

(IHIF – It Happened in Florida)

Meet the lovely Oneal Ron Morris.  She is actually a he, and was practicing medicine without a license.  Although what she was doing sounds more like some weird deleted scene of one of the umpteen “Saw” movies.

Morris was posing as a female, and a doctor, and offering her services of helping women with plastic surgery issues.  Taking the story from earlier this week,  of the women injecting silicone she bought from Home Depot a step further, Morris was promising the look of a giant ass but with the use of:

  • rubber cement
  • mineral oil
  • fix-a-flat (yes, tire inflator in a can)
  • and closing the wound with Crazy Glue.
Now, if you take a look at Morris, you will notice something odd about her lower half.  Yes, it looks like she has the saddlebags off of an old civil war pack mule in her pockets and her ass appears to have blown up like the nose end of the Goodyear blimp.  These are the results of Morris testing these new plastic surgery/tire repair/scrapbooking methods on her/him self with just the most awesome of results.
Anyway, Morris had been hired by a woman to help her achieve similar excellent results so that she could excel as a stripper.  For $700 a series of injections to different places on her ass resulted in sever pain and a trip to the hospital for abdominal pains and flulike symptoms.  The woman, too embarrassed to admit what she had done would leave before Dr’s could help her until finally her mom took her in.  She is now recovering but cannot work due to the pain.
Morris worries authorities that because she’s been on the lam for the last year and that she’d done this same thing to herself that there might be other women in bad condition simply too scared to tell anyone.
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