Rugby Star Ruptures Testicle in Match

Not only did Paul Wood’s team lose 26-18 in the Super League Grand Final, but during the second half of the rugby match one of his testicles ruptured.

Despite the brutal injury, he finished the game, didn’t mention it in the post match press conference and had the testicle removed that night in an overnight surgery.  Later he tweeted: “Ruptured my right testicle, got a knee 1 minute into the second half, had to have it removed.”

He even later had a good sense of humor about it, “Just coming out the hospital to go home… Seriously feel like I’ve left something?”

She’s A Ball Buster, Literally

Joyce Maxine Gregory, 35, is an enemy of man.

She is charged with what is maybe the single most awful crime a woman can commit:  “malicious castration”.

Gregory was arrested after getting into an argument with an older man on Saturday morning.  The man decided he’d had enough and went outside to call 911.  Gregory followed him outside and stopped him from calling by grabbing the man’s scrotum.  Gregory squeezed the man’s gentiles so hard she actually burst his scroctum, causing one of his testicles to “pop out”.  The police report stated,  that the victim’s “scrotum had been split open,” adding that, “I was also able to observe one of the subject’s testicles protruding from the scrotum area.”  Police also observed “blood on the floor of the porch and the siding of the residence.”

Gregory didn’t end her terror reign there, once arrested she removed her pants and urinated all over the back seat of the patrol car.  She is being held on$20,000 bond on that charge of malicious castration and additionally assault inflicting serious bodily injury.

The victim reportedly will be fine, in the long run, after doctors were able to place the testicle back in place and sew up the injury.

Pro Wrestler Loses Ball

John Levi Miller, 23, had to retire from the ‘sport’ of pro wrestling way too early for such an aspiring career.

Miller, who wrestled under the name, “The Playboy J-Millz” had a testicle ruptured, and later removed, after being unexpectedly kicked in the groin by Clinton “Guido Andretti” Woosley in a match that Miller was scripted to win.  He contends that Guido actually ignored the plan and worked to win the match with the swift kick to the undercarriage.

Miller filed a lawsuit this week against the former opponent and the promoter of the match claiming, “negligence and breaching their duty to ensure that Woosley was adequately trained and understood the “moves” intended to entertain the crowd and still deliver the match’s predetermined outcome”.  The promoter claims that Miller has his facts wrong and finished the match without complaining to anyone that he’d been injured.

Miller claims he applied ice to the testicle that night at home, but went to the hospital the next day where doctors determined it needed to be removed.

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