Two Words: Moldy Tampon

Yes, I know it might be the next great band name, but that isn’t the point.  Getting ready for bed last night the wife turned on the local ABC affiliate so we could begin our nightly ritual of watching the news with John McCaa and Gloria Campos.

The lead-in promo was starting and I was putting on my footy pajamas when I heard John McCaa say two words in the same sentence:

“moldy tampon”

The story was fairly interesting.  But I do have questions.

I don’t know much about tampons, other than the fact that their concept and their operation make me giggle like a 3rd grader.  But I think that I do know that you ladies normally don’t pull the cotton absorption portion from the plastic/cardboard device before implementing the tampon’s purpose in life.  Right?  I confirmed with my wife, who was equally mystified by this question: “How did this woman realize there was mold on the cotton part in the first place?”  Does she use an alternate tampon application method the same way some people eat OREOs differently from most?  Did she prematurely hit the eject button and it fell to the floor with its moldy grossness?  Did it smell funny out of the wrapper?  Ooo, did she smell the tampon first?

This is never answered in the report.  And thank goodness whatever her odd way of operating a Kotex ended up with her discovering this disturbing situation.

(ps, I have a secret crush on Gloria Campos.  I’ve watched her on Channel 8 for as long as I can remember, and now that my work shares a parking lot with her studio, sometimes I see her getting in her car and I debate if I should say hello or not.  She is my TV mom)