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So Much For Public Drinking Fountains

Jamie Todd Hensler single handedly ruined the long standing public trust of the drinking fountain on Monday after he was arrested for washing his genitals in a park fountain.

The 40 year old Oregon man was charged not only with misuse of a drinking fountain, but also indecent exposure and disorderly conduct charges.  He was also officially expelled from entering the park again.  The events tarted when Hensler was spotted trying to talk to kids in the park and then throwing water balloons at them.  For reasons unknown he then began to take off his clothes and then made the decision to wash his naughty parts in a fountain everyone else drinks from.

Hensler claims that he was only taking a bath there because he had no where else to do it.  A KGW-TV reporter spotted him Wednesday at the same park and asked him about the charges.  “I was arrested because I was taking a bath in and washing up in the fountain because no one cares about me. They took my housing, took away my medical and social security,” he responded.

You can actually see the guy in the report below.  Pretty funny.  “Yeah, I did!”

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The Tender, Soft Touch of the Teddy Bear

Charles Marshall must think that this week’s release of the movie TED is some sort of porno made just for him.  See, Marshall has again been arrested for “masturbating in public with the aide of a teddy bear”.

Yes, you read that right.  Charles has been 1) making sweet love to a stuffed animal, 2) in the full view of the public, 3) this is the FOURTH time he’s been caught.

The 28 year old Cincinnati man was arrested last Wednesday night after employees from a neighborhood health clinic spotted him pleasuring himself.  Marshall was first caught doing this back in February 2010 in a public library men’s bathroom, then again in November 2010 and August 2011 for, ““masturbating w/a stuffed animal (teddy bear)” and “masturbating using a teddy bear in a public place where minors were likely to be present.”  All of the charges were misdemeanor counts resulting in short sentences.

In this latest arrest Marshall was cited with only disorderly conduct.  The court record actually says under “Describe Violation”, Did create a condition of annoyance/alarm by performing a sex act with a teddy bear in public”.

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Valentines Is Better With Bondage

Portland police spent a portion of their Valentine’s Day hunting for a woman who reportedly had been abducted, bound and gagged, and thrown into a car.

A witness called 911 to report that he’d seen a man put in the back of a car a naked women who “appeared hazy” and was tied up and with duct tape over her mouth.  The caller claimed he was told by the man that the two were, “just having some fun”.  The 911 call resulted in a nine car manhunt for a blue Suburu.  A license plate was relayed to police which ended up with the owner of the car being spotted and pulled over.  Inside, was the owner and the nude, tied up women.

The man, Nikolas Harbar, 31, and his girlfriend, Stephanie Pelzner, 26, told police that there was a misunderstanding.  The couple were simply acting out a Valentines’ day bondage fantasy.  Despite both parties involve agreeing it was an innocent episode of sexual fantasy, the duo was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.

Explained Lt. Robert King, “The concern is their actions created a pretty substantial public alarm, to the point where you have a 911 caller saying she’s concerned about this person tied up naked in the back of a car”.

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