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Eels Aren’t Supposed To Be In Your Butt

A hospital in New Zealand is reporting that it is true they had a male patient that required attention for an “eel inside him”.  And by, “inside him”, they mean in his butt.

The man reportedly showed up at the hospital having to explain that he had an eel up and inside his rectum and after a series of X-rays his claim proved to be true.  Reports are the man underwent a minor procedure to have the “sprig sized” eel removed and he was later released.  There was no explanation of how the eel got in there and the hospital refused to elaborate further due to “patient’s right to privacy”.

If you love a good, “what people have put in their butt only to need it medically removed” story, check out this awesome book, “Stuck Up”.

 

Wanted: My Speed Metal Baby Daddy

A Craigslist ad in the Chicago area was wanting something totally different – even for Craigslist.  In the “Missed Connections” section of the site, a 28 year old woman is looking for a man she met, and apparently had rather rough, unprotected bathroom sex with at a Megadeth/Motorhead concert on Feb 10th.

“Me: Blue hair, silver tube top, fishnets, Knee-high black biker boots. You: Red mohawk, black pentagram gauges, viper piercings,” the post said.

“I was grinding on you in the pit, then we went to the bathroom, and for fucked up.  You had a nice cock and I was wasted so I let raw dog it in the stall.  You were really good and you had to gag me so I would make too much noise.

“Anyway I’m pregnant. It’s yours. Contact me if you want to be part of your child’s life.”

 

Pretty much the single most outstanding Craigslist ad, ever.  It’s been pulled from the site, so we don’t know if the rather sexually free woman has found her man.

 

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Death By Garbage Chute

A 16 year old mentally disabled Chicago teen died late Monday after he fell 46 stories through his building’s garbage chute.

Charlie Manley was doing chores and somehow fell into the chute and his body was found face down in the basement trash compactor.  Charlie was autistic and had Down syndrome and died from multiple injuries suffered in the fall

The boy had an older brother and sister and his father was formally on the International Board of Directors of Special Olympics.   Charlie was described by neighbors as a building favorite and as nice a kid as you’ll find.  Some wonder how he could have fit into the chute due to the way it opened and its size.  His death was ruled an accident.

View more videos at: http://nbcchicago.com.

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Speeding Train vs 18yr Old

After this week’s odd story of flying deer parts killing a woman, comes this even weirder story of something that happened back in 2008.

At a Chicago train station 18 year old Hiroyuki Joho was killed when he struck by an Amtrak train traveling over 70mph.  In the rain, Joho was attempting to get to another train, holding an umbrella and never knew he was stepping into the path of a speeding locomotive.  Much like the previously mentioned deer story, the impact of his body and the train had subsequent consequences.

A large part of Joho’s body was flung onto the nearby platform where it hit 58 year old Gayane Zokhrabov knocking her to the ground causing her to break both her wrist and leg and injuring her shoulder.

The reason this 3+ year old story is back in the news is because Zokhrabov won an appeals case this week that will allow her to sue the dead 18 year old’s estate for damages she suffered in the incident.  While she lost an earlier county case her appeal won as a judge decided that Joho’s actions were negligent on his part.  Blindly walking across the tracks, he ruled, it was reasonably foreseeable that he’d be hit and his body flung onto the platform.

There is no mention of what Zokhrabov stands to gain against the estate of a deceased 18 year old, and its reasonable to think that this isn’t the last we’ve heard of this bizarre and tragic story.

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Do Not Rob Mixed Martial Artists

Friday night Anthony Miranda, 24, was out to rob someone.

Walking up to a car near Midway Airport at 11:30pm he asked the driver for a lighter.  He then pulled a gun and demanded the driver hand over his money.  The driver willingly gave up the money, but then instead of getting away with the goods, Miranda tried racking the gun, but it jammed and  made the mistake of ordering the victim out of the car because he believed the driver was holding out on him.

What happened next resulted in Anthony looking like he does in the mug shot to the right.

Oh, and in the tussle, Miranda’s gun went off and he shot himself in the ankle.

The victim was “Justin”, a 6’2″ 250lb MMA fighter and UFC Champion with “former military” training and “hostage rescue”  He claims was happened wasn’t fighting but training that helped him then beat the living snot out of Miranda and hold him down until cops arrived.

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