Do Not Put Fireworks in Your Butt

A 23- year old New Zealand man is both in trouble with the law and his own medical condition after attempting to fire off a firework from the confines of his butt cheeks.

The man put a firecracker between his butt cheeks and lit the fuse.  “What must of seemed to be a great idea at the time has backfired, resulting in the male receiving quite severe and very painful burns to his cheeks, back and private bits,” said Sernior Sgt Garry Smith.  Yes, alcohol was a likely factor.  There are reports he will have to be flown to another hospital because his injuries are serious.

The man is also in trouble with the law for possessing and firing off a firework outside of the approved timeframe allowed for fireworks in his city.

The Opposite of an Apology

23 year old Megan Merkel really knows how to win friends and influence people.  After allegedly driving drunk, running over a local high school biology teacher – killing her – and fleeing the scene, Merkel then posted to her Facebook page a foulmouthed rant targeting anyone that questioned her version of events.

At 7:45am Merkel was speeding along side her boyfriend who was on a motorcycle and performing tricks down a small two-lane upstate NY road.  The boyfriend, Mark Scerbo, passed Merkel and attempted a wheelie but ended up hitting 40 year old Heather Boyum, a teacher riding her bike on the side of the same road, throwing her to the road where Merkel’s truck then ran over her body.  Scerbo was taken to a hospital with serious injuries, Boyum died at the scene and Merkel was arrested and charged with DWI and later released.  Police report that additional charges are possible.

It was then she decided that she’d had enough of people badmouthing and blaming her for the incident and posted the following on her timeline.

Wreck-It-Ralph is All 8Bit Love

Bugs Bunny with his Disney rival Mickey Mouse ...

Disney is rolling out a new movie this year that is very much in the great spirit of “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?“.  That great 1988 movie that not only mixed animated and live characters, but wonderfully brought cartoon characters from different companies together.  In fact, it is still the only place you will ever see Micky Mouse and Bugs Bunny on the same screen together (right).

The movie Disney is delivering this year is all animated, no live people, but does bring together video game character from many of the great video arcade games of the past.  “Wreck-It-Ralph” tells the story of Ralph, a big oaf of a guy that is the villain in a console game that looks similar to Donkey Kong called, Fix-It Felix Jr.  Basic plot:  Ralph wants to be a “good guy” now and begins to jump from game to game trying to find his new place and in the meantime we see characters from all sorts of video game greats.

You’ll see characters from PacMac, Sonic, Street Fighter, Super Mario, Q*Q*Bert, Mortal Kombat Frogger and more.

This all may play much better for an audience, like me, that was raised on quarter-dumping into standing consoles in arcades and 7-11’s across the country.  But hopefully, the youth today that was raised on playing games exclusively at home and online will have an appreciation of where that gaming heritage comes from.

This looks fun.  Its out November 2nd.

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Hold On To Your Apple Lovin’ Panties

Word came today from iMore, a blog with a history of predicting Apple stuff, that the next generation of the iPhone would make an early appearance, along with the much rumored 7.x” iPad.

The site predicts that the devices will appear at a typically large Apple event on Sept 12th and that the phone would go on sale on Sept 25th.  The date for sale of the “mini iPad” isn’t yet known, but a lot of speculation has it no earlier than late Q4 2012, most likely Q1 2013.

The iPhone (it’s likely it will NOT be called the iPhone 5 as Apple seems to be moving away from that) will likely come with a slightly larger screen, 4G LTE connectivity and other improvements.  In the last week several screen shots and even videos have appeared claiming to be footage of the new iPhone.

The mini iPad is a total mystery as Steve Jobs once told the world that the idea of a smaller iPad was unneeded.

“The reason we wouldn’t make a 7-inch tablet isn’t because we don’t want to hit a price point, it’s because we don’t think you can make a great tablet with a 7-inch screen,” Jobs said. “The 7-inch tablets are tweeners, too big to compete with a smartphone and too small to compete with an iPad.”

He said the resolution of the display could be increased to make up for the smaller size, but that would be “meaningless, unless your tablet also includes sandpaper, so that the user can sand down their fingers to around one quarter of the present size.”

“There are clear limits of how close you can physically place elements on a touch screen before users cannot reliably tap, flick or pinch them. This is one of the key reasons we think the 10-inch screen size is the minimum size required to create great tablet apps,” he said.

I personally won’t believe Apple is selling a mini iPad until I hear them admit it.

My suggestion is to not sell your iPhone 4 or 4S just yet…  While a couple of other news outlets are now also confirming these dates and news, it’s always good to sit and wait for Apple to confirm something.  Even if it is not true, the latest likely date for announcing would be in October.

iMore also mentions a new iPod Nano, but without any real details on its assumably new design

Star Trek: NG On Awesome BluRay

Over the summer the wife and I have been watching for the first time Battlestar Galactica on BluRay and it reminded me how much I love a good space drama.  You know I’ve touted the greatness of the far under-watched “Firefly“, but in watching BG I am far more reminded of another favorite, Star Trek: The Next Generation.  Now you can get Season One on BluRay, and that’s a big deal.

Not only is the show now on BluRay, but the process to get it there is truly impressive.  The show was shot on 35mm and that film has been remastered and digitally transferred at 2K, the audio has been remastered for 7.1 surround and the special effects have been recreated using current technology.  What does that mean to you?  That this will look and sound fantastic.  Seriously, some big love and money has been spent to bring this to the fans in HD, and at videophile quality.

You can buy Season One today.

ET Is Coming Home… On BluRay!

I can’t believe it, but the classic movie ET is 30 this year.  In October the long awaited Blu-Ray versions will finally be released and there will be a couple of different packaging.

The film has been digitally remastered and will feature a new 7.1 Dolby surround sound track.  The version of the film will be the beloved 1982 theatrical releases (Meaning the gun will remain in the movie, a change Spielberg made to the movie in 2002). Bonus features will include an all-new interview with Spielberg, and “The E.T. Journals” featuring never-before-seen footage from the set of the film, plus the usual assortment of trailers, TV spots, photos and more.

The limited edition version will come with the coolest silver model of ET’s spaceship, which when opened, plays the theme music from the movie and the steps lower to reveal a small version of ET.  This version will cost $140, but will also likely end up being a highly valuable collectors item and only available via Amazon.  The regular version, the BluRay disc and extras without the ship will sell for $24.

All of it goes on sale Oct 9.

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So Much For Public Drinking Fountains

Jamie Todd Hensler single handedly ruined the long standing public trust of the drinking fountain on Monday after he was arrested for washing his genitals in a park fountain.

The 40 year old Oregon man was charged not only with misuse of a drinking fountain, but also indecent exposure and disorderly conduct charges.  He was also officially expelled from entering the park again.  The events tarted when Hensler was spotted trying to talk to kids in the park and then throwing water balloons at them.  For reasons unknown he then began to take off his clothes and then made the decision to wash his naughty parts in a fountain everyone else drinks from.

Hensler claims that he was only taking a bath there because he had no where else to do it.  A KGW-TV reporter spotted him Wednesday at the same park and asked him about the charges.  “I was arrested because I was taking a bath in and washing up in the fountain because no one cares about me. They took my housing, took away my medical and social security,” he responded.

You can actually see the guy in the report below.  Pretty funny.  “Yeah, I did!”

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What Happens When You Go To A Bar With 40lbs of Mercury

The small town of Armstrong, Iowa had an emergency scare as more than a dozen people are having to be looked after by medical officials for mercury poising after a man brought a 40lb plastic jar of it to a local bar.

The man found the stash of the poisonous element while remodeling a home, he then took it to the bar to show off to friends.  But while the plastic jar sat on atop the bar, someone knocked it off and it fell to the floor, spilling about half of the 40lbs.  The owner tried to clean up the slippery mess with a broom and vacuum. The employees then took the remaining mercury in a bottle and then put the bottle in what was thought to be a safe hiding place.

It wasn’t so safe because four children under the age of 10 found the bottle and began to play with it in the sandbox it had been hidden.  One of the kids put his fingers in his mouth in an attempt to taste the mercury because he couldn’t pick it up.  Authorities found 25lbs of mercury in the sandbox.  Exposure to mercury can lead to kidney damage, respiratory failure and death!


Drunk Guy Lights Head on Fire. On Purpose.

William Bonner, 36, of Augusta, GA was at a local bar last week and got very drunk with his friends.  So drunk he ended up in the hospital after lighting his head and face on fire.

It was originally reported that Bonner was a victim, that his burns were the result of an altercation with others at the bar.  That turned out not to be true.  The truth in many ways was much worse as it seems that Bonner was actually in a bet about if another guy could light his head on fire using different types of booze from the bar.

On the third try, this time with Bacardi 151, his head burst into flames and then for the next few seconds appeared like Ghost Rider while his other drunk friends work to put the fire out.  He was taken to a local hospital and was in critical condition for several days before finally being released earlier this week.

There were no charges filed.  (ps:  I love small town newscasts, as seen below)

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Don’t Put Your Kid in the Trunk

Johnny Nguyen is a dad in the Orlando area that was not very happy with his 5 year old daughter when she was acting up in church.  So, he took her outside and put her in the trunk of his car.

Once the girl began to cause a disturbance in Sunday church, a witness across the street from the Church of the Nazarene saw Nguyen throw the girl into the trunk of the car on a day it was 97 degrees.  The witness called 911 and her husband confronted Nguyen to get him to let the girl out.

When police arrived he told police he was disciplining his daughter, and that he loved her very much.  He also pointed out that the back seats were down and she had plenty of room and air.

Nguyen was arrested and charged with child abuse.