Artificially Big Butts Are a Crime

Kimberly Smedley is a criminal.

She has been arrested of the crime of making giant, fat asses.

Working out of hotel rooms in the Washington DC area, she was hired by women to inject silicone into their butts to make them larger and give them a particular shape.  For $4000 a woman would undergo nine injections into each cheek.

An exotic dancer contacted police after she also asked for injections to her lips (the ones on her face, you perv) and had to go to the hospital with breathing problems and was found to have silicone in her lungs.

Reports show that the silicone was stored in a, “water jug with a spigot”, where it was then poured “into a cup” and then drawn from the cup into a syringe and then injected into the awaiting, lacking, flat, not-enough-cushin-for-the-pushin’ buttocks area.  It is also thought that Smedley was buying the silicone from local hardware stores like Lowes or Home Depot – because that’s where you get medical grade butt fat ya know.

Smedley is free on bail, and the number of customers isn’t known.  What is known is that she has stayed at various area hotels over a hundred times in the last year.

Your just going to have to eat mac& cheese by the gallon to get that classic J-Lo/Kardashian ass ladies.  Really, why not? Look how great it looks on Ms. Smedley?

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Now, with Commenting!

This site has enjoyed a bit of traffic since I started it a few weeks ago.  I appreciate everyone that has popped in to read a story or two.

Now, I want to start talking, discussing, snarking and finding out just how funny all of you are.  I’ve added two different ways to safely comment to the stories I post.  

First is Facebook.  Commenting will also share the story on your wall, so considering to the content on this site, I understand if that isn’t something you’d like to do.  I do hope that you share things on Facebook that you like just so that more people find the site.

Second is Disqus.  It is a commenting system that allows you to set up an account and is widely used across the net.  If you have a Disqus account, or set one up you will likely find plenty of other blogs/sites that you can use it there too.

Either way, I want to hear from you.

*side notes* – IveGottheNews.net and thegeekout.net go to the same site.  I bought both URL’s, but didn’t want to make two sites.  So if you’re finding the site because I pimped it on L&T as “thegeekout” and see a different title, that might help explain it.  Also, some of you have asked about this.   I am making zero money from this site.  The placement of the ad for “Ragged Edge” was something I wanted to do for a very small company who’s products I really like.  I have no plans to monazite the site, and frankly, it would have to get about 1500% more traffic before I could really make anything from it anyway.  It just for you and me… Our little secret website… smooches.

It Happened in Florida

LB Williams, a 50 year old Panama City man has committed crimes of love.

See, LB, has a lengthy history of trouble with the law was worried his wife would divorce him and take his daughter away too.

Williams, who is black, is married to Donna, who is white.  So, LB hatched the bizarre plan of burning a cross in their front yard, and leaving threatening racial messages of hate to scare Donna into not leaving him.

On November 4th a cross was found burning in their front yard and two days later a note that said something to the effect of “Don’t leave that n!gger”.  It was also signed “KKK”.  This latter part obviously set off some red flags as the KKK isn’t known for supporting interracial marriages.

Donna realized the note was in a similar handwriting to that of her husband and from there the police were onto LB.  He was arrested and charged with two felonies: domestic violence stalking and exhibits that intimidate.

It looks like LB’s best attempts to keep his wife have failed, as ridiculous as they might have been – “He truly is a good man. He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t do drugs and he works like a dog,” Donna Williams said. “We just can’t be together.”

via News Herald

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Pixar’s “Brave” Gets a Trailer

I have not watched “Cars 2” for a lot of reasons, but Pixar still stands on solid ground in my world.

Why?  Because I know they will churn out more beauty like presented in the trailer for 2012’s “Brave”, rather than the unneeded movie mentioned above.

Really, this looks damn good, and Pixar’s advancement in technology each movie is really great.  Just focus on the girl’s red hair.  The tech to do that is awesome.

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What An Odd Time & Place to Perform This Act

(also titled: “…But this Happened in Texas)

Police were called to a Whataburger in Porter, Texas about a man passed out at one of the tables.  When they arrived they found Howard Keith Windham trying to wake up the man by slapping him. In the course of talking to Windham, a female, Tina Marie Arie was also spoken to by cops and it was found that she had given the asleep man some of the pills that caused the man’s sleepy state, and were also part of a stash found on Windham and later in her car.

But that part of the story is boring.  It’s what happened on the way to jail that is special.

Windham and Arie were both placed in the back seat of the same police cruiser.  The officer driving noticed on way to the jail that behind him there were some odd movements in the rear-view mirror.  He then noticed he couldn’t see Arie any longer.

He called out to her and she replied that she was just tired and laid her head down in Windham’s lap.  Well, she wasn’t totally lying.

The cop pulled over and discovered that Arie was preforming oral on Windham.  Yes, despite both being handcuff, they somehow managed to get his pants unzipped and dropped so that as detailed in the police report, “Arie was servicing his exposed genitalia.”

Bravo.  BRA – VO!!!

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It Happened in Florida

Elija Paul Love was released from the Lee County Jail in Ft Myers Saturday to his awaiting girlfriend, Autumn Lynn Livingston.

Instead of a loving embrace or kiss, Love reportedly went crazy.  Throwing her car keys across the parking lot, Love then grabbed Livingston and shoved her head into a car.  He began to choke her with a head lock using a cast around one of his arms.

Livingston kicked him in the testicles and he let go, but grabbed her again, dragging her across the parking lot as police arrived and arrested him for domestic strangulation.

 

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Diane Sawyer Must Really Hate Bob Costas

Last night was one of the most bizarre TV moments I have ever witnessed, and I’ve watched a lot of TV.

Bob Costas’ surprise interview with alleged pedophile Jerry Sandusky was as weird, fascinating, maddening and telling an interview as we will ever watch.

Costas, who I think is pretty good at his job, was really tasked with asking a series of hard questions to a guy that the world largely wants shot.  And Sandusky’s answers did not disappoint.  Listening to this guy try and defend himself must have psycho-therapists and clinical physicians around the world with therapy boners.  It really was a fascinating listen into the mind of a guy who, if proven true, is one sick fellow.  I found it riveting.

But the best part, for me, was the competitive media angle.

ABC and Diane Sawyer have been for over two weeks been promoting her interview with Sentator Gabby Giffords and her husband (and astronaut) Mark.  Two weeks of never ending promos, clips from the interview, sneak peek footage, all of what is really a feel good story about two extraordinary people.  It was a “very special” one hour show that was totally eclipsed by Costas’ eight minute interview (entirety seen below) of mind blowing weirdness.

Am I sexually attracted to underage boys? Sexually attracted?

You know, I enjoy young people. I, I love to be around them. I, I…

But no, I’m not sexually attracted to young boys.

I have this mental image of Sawyer freaking out, in a rage, throwing things around the ABC office in a massive talent fit… Freaking out because her giant interview just got “Sanduskied”.

Well played Costas.  Well played.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQr4x7yzNxg

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I Want a Cheeseburger, Damnit!

Shanaya Edgell was very hungry at 3am, at a McDonalds and drunk.

Not a good combination.

Shanaya wanted a good ol’ fashion cheeseburger, but it was breakfast hours and those weren’t being served.  Ms Edgell didn’t take kindly to this fact, blew a gasket and began assaulting her boyfriend, Darrell Page, with some biting and tearing off his shirt.  Darrell was able to get her back in the car where they left, only to have her change her mind because she wanted some breakfast after all.  The boyfriend trying to avoid killing the two of them since he could drive while she was kicking his ass, pulled over and called police.  When they arrived she was standing on the hood of the car screaming profanities.

All she wanted was a cheeseburger.

via Gazette Extra

via the Smoking Gun

 

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Dog Eats Car Payment

A St Augustine, Florida couple were forced to make their dog throw up after they came home to find it had eaten $1000 in cash – money intended as a car payment.

A “peroxide mix” was given to the Labrador retriever-chow-bulldog mix (wtf?) where it shortly vomited back up bits and pieces of the money.  Only $900 of the total was immediately usable, the final $100 bill was too damaged so the couple sent it to the US Treasury department with a note explaining the situation in hopes they will replace it with a $100 minus the dog slobber and bleck all over it.

 

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Would You Like to See My Dead Girl Collection?

A Russian man, well known for his expertise in Celtic studies and had even published books, was found housing the corpses of 29 women in his home.

The bodies were all mummified and dressed up in various manners.  Some positioned or staged, some just stored on shelves in various places around his home.  The bodies were from different graves that had been dug up in the past few years and police had been trying to solve the cases.  They thought it was an extremist group, but a video of the man leaving a scene of one crime lead to his arrest.

He’s been charged with desecrating dead bodies and their burial sites.

 

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